I was listening to Woman Like You by Lee Brice on my way to work. I've always liked that song and hoped that Dave thought the same way of me. I don't know if he did. I know he loved being a father and he loved me - but I often wondered if he would have preferred to be free and single. He never said that - but I'm sure many guys feel that way. I was a pain to live with sometimes and the responsibilities are overwhelming as an adult sometimes. However - I hope that he knew how much I did strive to be the best wife possible. Did I make mistakes - sure - lots of them! Do I regret so many things....yep I do. I can't do anything about that now.
Right before Dave died - probably a week or 2 - I remember him standing in the living room and just looking at us. I think I was doing laundry or something and the kids were doing something. He has this look on his face that I had never seen. I wasn't sure if it was anger - or what. I asked him if he was mad at me. I couldn't think of anything that I had done - I was trying to be extra considerate around that time (because I knew he was really stressing about work). He said it was absolutely not me. The way he said it made me think it was something else - other than work. I have no idea. I just sit here now and wonder if he somehow knew that we'd be all alone soon and he wouldn't be here to look at us anymore. It is so sad to think that he knew.
I just really hope that he knew how much we loved him and that I knew life would always suck without him here by my side. He should be here!! We need him.
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)