Things have not been going well lately. I'm just stressed out to the max and feeling really bad that I'm so not in the Christmas spirit. I don't even have my tree up - and I'm not sure when or if it will even happen this year.
Everything is just coming at me and I'm really struggling.
I'm trying to make sure everyone around me is ok and taken care of. I feel like I have to do it all. It is just so much pressure. I've kind of done an ok job - but just ok - not great. I wish I could be more and do more.
People ask me how I'm doing constantly - and I really wish they wouldn't. Lately I've been telling most people what is going on and then I immediately feel bad that I bothered them with any information. I do only tell a few people - but a few extra people have asked me lately. It is probably the holidays and they just appear more concerned. I'm sure every single person has regretted asking me. I hate to make their problems seem less important. I have so much going on - that I really haven't been too concerned about other people and I'm sure I appear to be the most uncaring selfish person.
Therapy with Malea helped a bit today and I'm glad that I made her go despite her being sick. I learned a few things and have decided to try to come up with some things for her to do. She needs to have fun and be a kid - so I need to figure out a plan for that. Her birthday is Friday and she has decided not to have a party - which I'm really sad about. It is her 13th birthday and I wanted her to do something fun. She just doesn't think it is a good idea with how sick she has been. I'm trying to think of something we can do though. I may try to find somewhere for Keagan to go and make it just a night for us on Friday. I just have to see how she feels before I make plans. My goal this month is to just do a few fun things and lessen the movies and books and just have her present with other people. I'm hoping things will improve.
Always thankful for the prayers.
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)