I've been getting angry so easily lately. I immediately get mad at myself for such a short fuse. Normally I have all the patience in the world and can tolerate a lot. I just seem to fly off the handle too quickly these days. I'm getting so mad at myself about it.
Keagan has been going through something and I'm not sure what it is. He's either really angry or emotional. He gets so mad if he doesn't get his way - like kicking and punching (not generally people - but he has hit me) or throwing things. He always apologizes and I explain that this isn't the proper behavior that he should have. I was really mad at him last night - so lately if I'm mad I just don't talk to him. It seems childish - but he really hates when I do that - so it works. He'll then start sucking up to me and doing everything I ask. I just don't want him to get so angry in the first place. I'm sure it doesn't help that I've been getting so angry (I don't hit, kick or throw things...just FYI). I tend to raise my voice and just get annoyed too quickly. If he isn't mad - he's super clingy and can't do anything on his own. For the past week - he cries when he goes to bed. He'll say he misses Dave and I'm sure he does - but I'm not sure if that is it. With kids and grief - it is so hard - because they can totally play this card and it is hard to know if it is real or not.
I think part of my anger is with Malea as well. It totally isn't her fault - but with her back she can do far less than before (which wasn't much). I try to help her as much as I can - but this gives me more to do on a daily basis and I was already stretched pretty thin. Plus - I have all of these extra appointments added on to my week. This week I have 3 appointments for her - plus a band concert and festival.
I'm really trying to keep the gym my top priority for me but then I feel guilty that I'm away from the kids too much.
I don't really see a solution - I just need to figure out a way to just breathe and deal with everything better. I'm just sorry to everyone I may have hurt in the process of me being so angry. Hopefully nobody is too mad at me. I just don't want my kids to see me as this angry Mom - I want them to know I love them and would do anything for them. I also want them to be responsible and help out as well.
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)