Ever since I had Keagan (and a little while before) I've had such a hard time losing weight. I know that when I had him I was 30 - but I was putting in the effort and not seeing results. I was very upset with myself. I was eating better than ever, but still gaining weight. I was convinced that I had a thyroid issue - I'm cold all the time, I'm tired all the time and plus the weight issue. I had my thyroid tested and it came back normal. I gave it a year or so and found a new doctor. She did a lot more tests on me and discovered that my hormone imbalance pointed to PCOS. I've been on medicine for it for almost 2 years now.
Since taking the medicine - I had seen some positive changes, one of those being a lot slower weight gain. That was nice since I had hurt myself and couldn't exercise for a little while. I was finally pain free and doing ok and Dave and I had committed to working out again. We hadn't been able to work out together again (we did that a few years ago and it was great) - but we were both working out and doing the same program. It was so nice to complain about leg day together and tell him I was jealous that he could stand up to pee - it was very hard to sit down! Then....Dave died :( :( :(
I can honestly say the last year has been awful. I was already super depressed with how I looked and how horrible I felt about myself. We were eating out all the time because I just couldn't cook. The kids would get excited when I would actually cook - but it has been very sporadic over the last year. Keagan could eat spaghetti every day - but Malea doesn't like it - so I try to limit that to every 10 days or so. I actually cooked almost every day for the last week (until last night) - even at the house. We bought food and barbecued it - since I only have a tiny fridge and now a small charcoal grill there. I made Stuffed Shells on Tuesday and Keagan gave me the biggest, longest hug! Seriously - I felt awful that it took me this long to make one of his favorite meals. I love it as well - but it isn't exactly healthy - so I don't want to make it very often (plus it takes a long time to make). I have also probably worked out maybe 3 times over the last year. It may be more like 10 - but over a year - that is really awful :(
I get emails every once in a while about PCOS and was looking over it. It linked to another article about low GI foods and PCOS. I think I really need to try to work on this. I'm tired of being a fat person - and will never be happy until I lose like 100 pounds (ok - maybe like 50). Since I'm finally cooking and it is barbeque weather - I think I can try to do this and be somewhat successful. My kids are all about eating healthier lately - unless it is veggies for Malea - she isn't up for that.
It sucks to be doing this on my own - and having to encourage myself - but I really need to do this. Maybe there is an app that sends a message every day - Messages like:
You can do it!
You are fat - drop what you are eating!
Get off your butt and workout!
I'd have to throw a couple nice ones in there - since degrading someone every day isn't very encouraging.
Finding time to exercise is a problem - but if I started small...like the other day I did 20 pushups, 50 squats and then ran in place for a little while.
I wish this wasn't so hard :(
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)