I realized last night - while thinking about something else that Malea especially seems to be living the same way I am. When I was her age - my Mom was always out doing things. She was very involved in the church and was always going away to Women's retreats. I always either had friends over or I was going to a friend's house for as long as I can remember. My parents were always going somewhere and usually it was a family activity - so we would tag along. I was very busy in high school - always doing something. I don't think I went a weekend without doing something. It was much less in elementary and middle school - but I would at least do something once a month.
It is so much different now. Once we moved out here - people just weren't the same. There weren't the same types of activities in the small town that there were in the bigger towns. My parents got busy with foster care and my Dad was only home on the weekends - so going somewhere rarely happened - unless it was a holiday.
I did not grow up near either grandparent or cousins. With my kids - they have 5 cousins that they see on a fairly regular basis.
No church I've attended is similar to the one I grew up. Women's retreats are very rare - there were more marriage seminars than anything else - and we could never go to those based on our schedules and having small kids.
Small groups are the way people get to know each other now in church and I am way beyond intimidated by them. What if I don't pick the right group? I have to go to one that allows children to come - so that is a limiting factor. From looking around at my church - there seems to be full families - no single parents. I had intended on signing up for the last small group and I just decided not to. Being an only parent freaks me out and I just can't relate to people anymore.
I'm debating on joining some groups for real estate investors/rentals. They aren't exactly local - but someone recommended I look in to them to stay on top of everything.
Malea was in a small group and was loving it and doing well, but the group seems to have gone away. I think I need to focus on getting her in to something. Next year I'm trying to figure out how to get her to be able to do a sport. I just have to figure out what I'm going to do with Keagan. I'll need to find someone to pick him up from school on a sporadic basis. She will need to first try out and that might intimidate her - but I think it would be good for her. I just worry she won't take kindly to me pushing her to get involved if I'm not involved in anything. She hasn't said anything about that though....so maybe I can skate along without her noticing. I am very busy with them and my new side job.
I just hate being 37 and just being at a loss with what to do with my life. My idea of working on houses full time makes most people look at me like I'm crazy. Once I get this house done in the next 2 months hopefully and get it listed and sold - I will weigh my options more seriously. I'm so unbelievable unhappy at work right now - I just don't know how much longer I can keep getting berated and treated poorly without it affecting me even more negatively. I'll so miss the work - I love the actual work - I just can't handle the politics and the lack of understanding.
I don't really have time to go out and meet people currently - especially with not having a clue as to where a good place would be to do that. My house keeps me busy and once I'm done with that - I have a few of my own home projects I need to get done. I need to figure out if I'm going to stay living in my house or seek out another place to live. I have so many decisions coming up that are major and just not trusting myself to make these decisions....I usually do always think things through very thoroughly and weigh all the odds. I just have to get used to not having input or someone telling me that my ideas are either stupid - or suggesting an alternative. I'm moving very slowly - but things aren't currently working the way they are - so I have to do something and start thinking about them.
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)