I've never really been a jealous person. If someone had something that I admired or wanted for myself - I would decide if it was worth getting and work hard and get it for myself. Sure - I've been in some pretty amazing houses and thought it would be nice to live there. However - I've remodeled every room in my house and am proud of the house I've made for us.
I have never really been jealous of anyone else's marriage. I had a pretty amazing marriage. We got each other and worked together really well. Our major issue was lack of time together as a family. Ultimately Dave provided for us and looked out for us. He really loved his family.
I read a book by Nicholas Sparks this weekend called The Guardian. I picked it up a while ago. I very rarely read anymore - it has been very difficult for me to read since Dave died. I was reading when the police came and just couldn't finish reading that one or any other that I picked up. I have now finished 2 books. 2 books is 8 months is pretty sad - but that is all I have been able to do :( The book was about a young woman that lost her husband. She had this great best friend (that was also her husband's best friend) and they just had this great relationship. They were able to mourn him together. He also helped her out with all of her repairs around the house and just checked up on her. I know it is just a book - but it is still hard not to think about how nice that would be. Of course - she sounded like see was very pretty too - in books they are all pretty.
Most days I'm ok dealing with this lonely life. I even had some great people come make it so my driveway was cleared this morning :) Just sometimes when I can't seem to get the shower drain to work - it just drives me nuts :( Dave could always get that to work. I've poured so much drain cleaner down it - but it just never seems to stay more than a couple of days and I currently can't even get it to work at all. I just need to get a stronger drain cleaner. One I know works really well - but it is the most expensive one - so I guess I just need to stick with that one.
I've been keeping busy with this new house of mine. I was worried about being alone in a house and thinking too much. It is amazing how much I don't think....my mind used to race a mile a minute about everything. My kids were all gung ho on helping me - but so far they just stay home - or if they come they sit and watch a movie on their ipad :(
The girl in the book also had a great dog. I really do miss Brody and the kids do as well. I keep putting it off until after we go on vacation in another 5 months. Hopefully that will help as well.
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)