I just realized that my post completely disappeared :(
It was a fairly long post....but I'll summarize.
I have seen many people post wondering if love was worth it and if you had known this was going to happen - would you still have gone through with your plans. Until recently - I never would have hesitated and said - yes - love is worth it. Lately, however, I've really been struggling with this. Am I glad that I met Dave - of course I am. I have 2 great kids and wouldn't trade them for the world. I'm thinking though - it would have been better to not have had that great love :( I was treated very well for over 15 years. I was loved. We very rarely fought - and usually if we did - it was totally my fault since I can be a bit irrational.
I have said often over the last year that this would be so much easier if he wouldn't have been such a nice guy. He often told me - you'll never find a nicer guy than me. He knew he was a pretty great guy. I guess if you are told that enough - you believe it - and it goes to your head a little ;) . It came so naturally to him. He definitely had issues with people and often threatened to me that he was going to tell them off or something. He usually was totally fine. Sure - there were times that he lost his temper and it didn't go well. From what he told me - he had quite a fighting phase around 19-21 or something? I was always surprised at those stories - since they didn't seem like the Dave I knew at all. He definitely had a temper - but he generally was able to manage it (other than in the car).
I just wonder if I had not had that great love - or such a great marriage - would I be doing better?
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)