It's so discouraging when you pour your heart, time, money, love, and energy in to someone and they just spit at you.
We went through so much when Kathryn decided she wanted to live with us. James was not completely on board with it, but after almost 2 months of thinking, he went ahead with it. She had some issues here and we took care of it. We got her the help she so badly needed.
Now - she has decided not to live here anymore. I feel like a failure. I caused James to lose both of his children. I know it isn't all my fault. I can't help but feel like I'm the cause.
I can see that things will be much more peaceful and far less stressful. Due to her behavior I can't even be in my house because I'm so hurt and angry right now.
I thought I could be a good influence and a positive role model. I have so much to offer. It's very degrading and trying for me when one person does not feel that anything I do is positive. To hear such evil stuff said about me is just horrible. It isn't even just that - but hearing far worse things about James. He just can't keep up this fight. Constant yelling by both daughters and their mother is just very difficult to live with. I hate the yelling in my house. My kids feel very uncomfortable as well.
I wish I had something wise to say or to figure out what to do. We aren't doing what I feel is best in the long run. I'm just so sick and stressed out.
I think a lot of Proverbs 22:6 - Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it. I just don't know how that works when parents tell kids different things in a divorced situation.
I had a chat with my kids tonight about all that is going on. They are hurt too by this, but have also been hurt with recent behaviors. It's hard to have kids that you feel you are doing all wrong with but also have these 2 other beautiful souls that love me so much and believe I am really the best person they could ever have as a Mother.
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)