I feel bad, but I basically ignored that it was Father's Day this year. I had purchased a card for my Dad, but never saw him - so I'll give it to him next weekend. I had told Malea Friday that she should put Dave's picture as her profile pic for Father's Day, but she didn't entertain that idea for long. I think about him every day. Father's Day isn't a special day that I need to take more time and think about him more than I do. It just brings up these memories of how sad it is that my kids don't have him around to honor him on Father's Day.
I feel guilty that I didn't make it special for my Dad. I feel guilty that I didn't take time out and make it a special day for the kids. I just didn't want to do that right now with how delicate things have been.
I will always remind them of what a great father they had. I think Malea will always remember and will always be sad. Keagan will not always remember and will need the reminders. He still remembers getting in trouble by him and I wish I could change those memories.
The other thing I realized is how I'm not very sympathetic anymore. When 9/11 happened - I cried so much during that time. I didn't have kids yet and just remember Dave thinking it was so strange that I was crying over all this. He hated that it happened, but just was never very emotional. Fast forward to these last few tragedies. I am just numb....I no longer shed tears over these things. Unfortunately they seem to be happening way too much and that can de-sensitize people - but they are still all so tragic. Does that make me heartless? My life has been ripped apart and I just can't feel anything for anyone anymore - especially people I don't know. It makes me feel guilty. I used to be so emotional over movies and such - they no longer make me cry. Maybe it is just my depression meds....but I hope nobody thinks I'm a cold-hearted person because of this.
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)