We just went and saw Miracles from Heaven. It was a great movie - definitely a tear jerker. I thought a lot about the Mom in the movie and could very much relate to her. She was fighting for her daughter and I'm doing the same thing. There are other issues there - but I'm still fighting - trying to help her and always coming up short. I will keep on trying until she gets some relief.
I don't want to give too much of the story away - but the Mom lost her faith. She couldn't understand how a loving God could allow a child to suffer. I am right there with her. I just don't understand why we have to go through this pain. Why does Malea have to go through this pain and struggle so much. She's an amazing girl, and maybe she'll come out super strong. In the meantime though - I just don't know how to help her. I keep trying to tell her that it won't last forever - but I really don't know. If we can't find the cause of her pain - we can't fix it. Right now the doctor says it has to do with her mood, her sleep and her posture. She has the best posture I've seen in a kid. She doesn't sleep well because she's in pain. Her mood has been the best it has been in the last 2 years. He suggested a psychologist rather than a psychiatrist. I don't really know the difference.
Growing up - I was always the church girl. I never minded people teasing me about that. I loved growing up in the church. I was a strong member of my youth group and went on to be a youth leader. I would say my faith was a bit damaged after my broken engagement. I left the church I loved and moved away. I didn't like the church I attended once I moved out here and tried to find somewhere else - but never managed to find a decent church. Dave and I found a church once we moved that we attended for quite a while. We had a few issues and ended up leaving - nobody noticed even though we attended pretty regularly for almost 10 years.
I finally found a church that I like again. I still am really struggling though. The Mom in the movie came around but her situation could be fixed. Mine is permanently broken - it can never be fixed. No miracle could bring my best friend back or the father of my children. She also had an amazing pastor that cared a lot about her family and a loving supportive husband as well as a few really good friends. It is hard to just constantly talk to myself and not get any feedback. I'm not the most positive person - especially when it comes to myself. I certainly don't feel like my prayers will ever get answered. I don't even really know what to ask for. I suppose getting through the day every day is somewhat an answer - but I just want more than that.
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)