This happiness after loss summit that I've been listening to has been somewhat helpful. It is only day 7 and I missed day 1 - but some of what they are saying makes sense to me. Two of the speakers specialize in divorce - so I was a little annoyed because some of what they said was completely different from the loss of a spouse that you loved and will never see again. At least one of them really understood loss with the loss of a father and a best friend.
Anyway....all of them seem to say the same thing. You must find your passion - you must find something to fuel your happy. The one I listened to today was all about finding your passion and choices. She said if you can find something that you are passionate about not always worry about money. You will be much happier doing something you love - rather than just something you are good at. I never would have thought about flipping houses all by myself - or even as a main source of income. It turns out - I'm really good at it and I really love it. I'm still waiting to see how this house comes out to decide about just doing that - and while it is taking much longer to complete than expected - I still think I could do 2-3 houses per year (as long as they weren't all as big as the one I'm doing). I don't know that there will always be the availability of houses to flip - but others seem to do pretty well. I actually really like the work part of my job. I'm really good at it and I really love many aspects of it. However - since Dave died I'm treated very poorly there and that makes me really not like going in to work. It doesn't assist me in being happy. I know lots of people don't like their job, but I actually have an alternative.
Now the choices part is what I have such a hard time with. I can get on the passion bandwagon - I agree with all of that. The choice to be happy and not let your circumstances hinder you really are hard for me to grasp. I've never focused on myself - I've always had other people to take care of. I strived to make Dave happy - to find food he liked and make it for him. I would make sure I bought snacks he liked and folded his clothes the way he wanted. I still do that for my kids, of course, but they learned everything from us - and they expect me to take care of them. I know Dave appreciated me - sometimes I felt like he didn't - but I know he did. Choosing to be happy I'm working on the concepts - but I've never been a positive or overly happy person.
So many people would get excited to see Dave, but I feel like so many people have forgotten him. I couldn't even hardly get people to give me memories about him to make a book for our kids :( That just makes me so sad :( I feel like I can't keep his memory alive by myself. I will keep trying though....
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)