Sleep is not going so well these days. Part of it is the lack of curtains in my room. I have my room painted and the furniture in there, but I still have stuff everywhere and not in order. I also still have to paint the window trim (I still have to buy a piece of trim to go over a window before I can paint). Then I have to figure out if I want shades or just curtains. Last night I kept waking up to check on the couch I put outside. We didn't make it to the garage, so I worried it was going to rain. Just dumb things keeping me awake :( I also have this dumb cold/allergies that just is hanging around.
We are leaving for California on Thursday. Tomorrow we have Malea's orientation for 6th grade and then we are heading to Chicago so we just have to head to the airport Thursday morning and not the long drive. I have so much to do. I've never flown with kids. I'm not sure if I need their birth certificates. If I do - I can't find the key to my safe. I looked for it all day yesterday and didn't find it :(
In June I purchased blankets at a deep discount for the kids that will have pictures all over them. Go figure that the deal expires on the 22nd. I've been trying to finish those up - but guess what - I can't find most of my memory cards! I pulled pictures off of facebook but it gives me a message that they might come out fuzzy. I don't want that!
I am dreading school coming up. Malea wanted to do cross country, but the first practice was yesterday and I didn't realize it until yesterday and I didn't have a physical form for her filled out. Practices would probably be after school and I need her to get Keagan. I hate that I need her to do that - I feel like I'm not allowing her to be a kid :( I haven't done nearly enough with Keagan this summer - he could have been reading really well. Malea has read like a million books - but didn't write the titles down and only remembers half of them. She's probably read more than most though. Luckily I can get the ones checked out from the library pretty quickly by downloading the list online. She's a little worried about the homework this year. I am as well - since she'd much rather read than do anything else. She hasn't even picked up the flute - another thing I've failed at this summer. At least I can help her throughout the year and she's going to practice today and tomorrow and then next week once we get home. The teacher doesn't like it when they know so much in the beginning anyway - at least mine didn't. I knew all the notes since I had been playing piano for so many years - and he didn't seem to really like that. Malea didn't really take to piano when I tried to teach her. Hopefully she'll do better in band - she prefers being taught by a teacher than her mother anyway.
Wish my luck on my flight. I HATE flying....while Malea is hoping for turbulence and something exciting to happen!!!
So many people ask me how I'm doing these days. My answer is either ...'I'm ok' or 'I'm managing'. I don't have a choice but to be one of those. I'm determined to make a life for my kids. I don't want them to grow up saying they lost both parents in 2014. They won't lose me...I'm still pretty much the same Mom to them. Granted - I'm far more stressed - about completely different things than before and I'm far less happy. I'm here though and I'm striving to give them all the opportunities that I can.
I have been seeing a therapist, but honestly not sure how much longer I will do that. She wants me to make time for me and says I need to get a life. I wasn't able to make time for me while Dave was here - I certainly don't have time for me now. I have longed for that for many years -it just is not a possibility. I do want to get back in to working out again - but I haven't even had time for that. I did get to run twice last week, but every day this week has been crazy. I did get a walk in last night. I don't see any light until maybe the last week in August. Then the kids will be back in school the following week and I just don't know what that is going to look like. Work will be really busy and I'll have meetings that I'm supposed to attend in all areas.
I couldn't imagine if my kids were both in a bunch of activities! I need to get Keagan in to something. I've just been trying to figure out what that will be. I think it might be a dance class - that is his favorite thing to do - a hip hop class possibly. Not too dangerous and not a huge commitment at this point. It will likely be that or gymnastics. He'd do great at both. In the spring we may do baseball or something - but I feel there is too much sitting around for him in most of the sports.
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)