Normally in my group they don't ask the adults many questions about their own lives - it is usually all about the kids - which is what the group was created for. Confidentiality is key there - but I think I'm ok talking about the questions that were brought up. One question was - What do you do for social interaction - basically to make new friends or connect with other people. It was nice to know I'm not the only one clueless in this area. Nobody had any suggestions. I threw out the Borgess Run Camp because I have heard it was a great place to get to know people. I don't do that because - 1) They only do this in the dead of winter and I don't like to be cold - 2) It starts at 8am on a Saturday. 3) It is 40 minutes away from my house. I get that these are excuses - but that would be just another few hours I would have to leave my kids home. Keagan doesn't sleep in super late and really likes me being there when he gets up on Saturdays. I was just surprised that nobody else had any ideas.
It really does suck that if you didn't grow up where you live and go to school in the area - meeting people is beyond difficult - especially if you are an introvert.
I'm starting to feel good about being alone and being ok with it. Working on this house helps me and I can learn to do things on my own and improve my skills. Tools are becoming my new best friends ;) I was scared of them for a long time - but they aren't that scary. I can see why Dave would pull out a power tool for the simplest task. I still like a manual screwdriver - but have used the drill on many more occasions lately. My favorite tool lately has been the crow bar ;) Of course - my favorite one that I'm using is actually my Dad's - so I need to find a copy like it. Maybe it is just that and older one has more wear and is loosened up or something. It does a much better job at taking out nails though compared to the new one I bought. Could be also that quality has gone down in many products - so that could be the problem right there. With many things they have varying qualities and brands - they only had one type of crow bar though at Home Depot.
I, of course, want my kids to have active social lives that they can build on and grow from. I had a great life in high school and right before I moved away. I was always doing something. I probably wasn't that busy in Middle School since I couldn't drive or anything - so Malea still has time. I do try to get her to go skating once in a while or go to church functions when they have them. Keagan's social life is just me and his cousins right now - so I try to get him to interact with people as much as possible. He's just all about playing - so anywhere he can play - he's great with that! He usually finds someone to play with anywhere. He loves to see new people - especially if they pay attention to him. He still occasionally acts shy - which I find funny - I think he just doesn't like direct questions when he first meets someone. That seems to make him hide. Hopefully he'll get over that. It has improved from how it used to be.
Hopefully once the weather gets nice - we can find something new and fun to do as a family. I'm beginning to think that this snow is never going to melt though!
I'm very close to having most of the demo work done on the house. I should be about 95% tomorrow with the tear out. I want to get one bathroom done before I pull the other one completely out - since that is the only working sink upstairs - and I don't want to have to run downstairs every time I need water or to wash my hands. I'll probably tear that toilet out tomorrow though as I use the one downstairs anyway.
I'm hoping to plumb the shower and do the floor in the main bathroom next weekend. It will be so nice to have something pretty in the house ;) I have to go shopping and figure out where I'm going to get the stuff. I'm struggling if the best place to go is a Home Improvement store or some smaller like kitchen and bath place. I know the place in Sturgis my parents got their cupboards from and wouldn't suggest them again.
I'm having such a hard time getting people to give me bids. I've had a few people out to the house but have yet to receive a bid. Not having at least a price or a timeline is getting really frustrating.
I was working there today and had planned to work a few more hours - but Keagan fell and impaled himself with a staple. It was bleeding pretty bad - so we left. Going back tomorrow at least. Nice to give my back a rest anyway.
I've been doing fairly well lately. I've been getting stuff done at my house as well as the flip house. I'm doing the 40 bags in 40 days and have accomplished the first 4 days. I filled it out a few days ago - and I didn't fill up all 40 days yet, but did fill up the first 2 weeks. I didn't want to do what I put down today - but I still did it. So - glad to have that out of the way ;)
I did have a hard time today just thinking how nice it was hearing I love you every day for 15 years. We never went a day without saying it:( My kids occasionally say it - but they have to love me.
I have been super busy and haven't been able to work out - but I have been doing other physical activities - so hoping to try to get some actual workouts in this week.
Hoping to take some pics of the house soon to show some before and after pics as I go....
I think my kids need to hang out with someone else. We are taking a much needed family evening this weekend to do something....most likely shopping and Sky Zone. I'm not sick of them - but I think they are sick of each other and me. If they aren't at school - they are together 98% of the time. They never had this much time together before.
Keagan seems fine - although he has been much crankier lately. I think he just misses his guy time - it is obvious that he craves that any time he is around another male adult. I know that he has to drive them nuts - but he used to get that every day and now he doesn't - so he's a little more obnoxious the few times that this does happen.
Malea is just all over the place. I scheduled an appointment for another therapist for her. She doesn't want to go - but I have to figure out if we can help her at all. I wish I could have someone I could just have take her out for an evening or something. Next week I'm thinking of taking her to a mystery dinner - but she'll likely be the only kid - so I don't know if she'll like that. She used to have plenty of times where she'd go with Dave somewhere or with me shopping. Keagan is a pain to shop with - so we haven't gone much lately.
Then there is me - I've seriously thought about going to hang out at a bar just to see if someone would talk to me. I'll never do it - but it certainly has been on my mind!
Ending with positives....
Keagan had his valentine's party yesterday - he really loved that! They had a frozen yogurt sundae party. I was able to take in some ice cream for Keagan and he said it was so much fun. His teacher always makes sure to ask me about what alternatives we can do for him. She also does some really fun things - I'm going to miss her when he's done with Kindergarten!
Malea was supposed to have the AWANA Grand Prix this week. Due to her being sick last week - I still had her run in when Keagan went and the cars were sold out. They told her she could use an old one. I had one that I actually won 2nd place with so she was going to use that. She couldn't find it though and wasn't fine with the color and didn't have time to paint it - so she decided not to go. I was sad since this was her last year. She did always get mad that she never won - so maybe it was good we didn't participate this year. She is caught up on almost all her work after being out for almost a full week of school! She has a few more things to catch up on - but that should be able to be done with this 4 day week:) Her eyes are bothering her so I really need to get her in to the eye place - go figure that she has a few more contacts left - but she can't wear them now. I'm hoping this means her eyes are improving....they've been getting worse every year and they said eventually they would slow down and stop.
I've done well with my eating and working out this week. I didn't work out last night -but did work on some demo work at the house. I'll just trade my last night and double up this weekend. Tonight I may be home late - we'll see - so hoping to try to get it in today. I already feel better doing the workouts - less tired. Hoping I can stick with it!
I've never really been a jealous person. If someone had something that I admired or wanted for myself - I would decide if it was worth getting and work hard and get it for myself. Sure - I've been in some pretty amazing houses and thought it would be nice to live there. However - I've remodeled every room in my house and am proud of the house I've made for us.
I have never really been jealous of anyone else's marriage. I had a pretty amazing marriage. We got each other and worked together really well. Our major issue was lack of time together as a family. Ultimately Dave provided for us and looked out for us. He really loved his family.
I read a book by Nicholas Sparks this weekend called The Guardian. I picked it up a while ago. I very rarely read anymore - it has been very difficult for me to read since Dave died. I was reading when the police came and just couldn't finish reading that one or any other that I picked up. I have now finished 2 books. 2 books is 8 months is pretty sad - but that is all I have been able to do :( The book was about a young woman that lost her husband. She had this great best friend (that was also her husband's best friend) and they just had this great relationship. They were able to mourn him together. He also helped her out with all of her repairs around the house and just checked up on her. I know it is just a book - but it is still hard not to think about how nice that would be. Of course - she sounded like see was very pretty too - in books they are all pretty.
Most days I'm ok dealing with this lonely life. I even had some great people come make it so my driveway was cleared this morning :) Just sometimes when I can't seem to get the shower drain to work - it just drives me nuts :( Dave could always get that to work. I've poured so much drain cleaner down it - but it just never seems to stay more than a couple of days and I currently can't even get it to work at all. I just need to get a stronger drain cleaner. One I know works really well - but it is the most expensive one - so I guess I just need to stick with that one.
I've been keeping busy with this new house of mine. I was worried about being alone in a house and thinking too much. It is amazing how much I don't think....my mind used to race a mile a minute about everything. My kids were all gung ho on helping me - but so far they just stay home - or if they come they sit and watch a movie on their ipad :(
The girl in the book also had a great dog. I really do miss Brody and the kids do as well. I keep putting it off until after we go on vacation in another 5 months. Hopefully that will help as well.
I am a wife and mother of 2. I have many different interests - baking, home renovations, music, education ;)